Hey there.
My name is Jenny.
I joined Remix Recovery in November 2024 as one of the first peer facilitators and am now also a member of our nonprofit Board of Directors. As someone living with cPTSD, OCD, and depression, and having gone through multiple levels of intensive mental health treatment, I felt motivated to get trained as a facilitator because the Remix mission to break stigma and offer peer-led support groups really stood out to me. I had been in plenty of professionally run groups, but peer-led support — solely connecting and learning with peers who have lived experience — was a new idea to me, and I loved it. However, even after all this time, it’s just now finally clicking for me that while I academically understand the concept of “remixing” recovery, I haven’t been living it out and embodying it as much as I thought I was….Welcome to the beginning of my Remix Recovery journey.
Upon reflection, I can see I’ve taken steps, but I’ve also stayed overly comfortable. I’ve leaned a little over the line of my comfort zone, but played it safe and stayed in my circle. I’ve continued to hide behind a facade in groups to an extent, switching into my “facilitator” role more often than not. But Remix Recovery isn’t meant to be an academic class or something run by professionals, it’s meant to be an authentic setting where peers gather together and create a space to practice change and healing. Yes, I am there to facilitate the space, but first and foremost, I’m there to be a peer.
Peers are people who are also in mental health and/or substance use recovery. They are there to offer and receive a judgment-free space, and support an environment that encourages growth, healing, and change. In a peer-led space there is no hierarchy. Facilitators are designated to help maintain group rules and guidelines and to demonstrate how the Remix Recovery model works. But I’m realizing I’ve been leaning more on the facilitator part of my role than the peer part.
Confronted with this realization has caused me to ask myself, what does “Remixing” recovery actually look like? What does it mean to take what’s existing and turn it into something new and better than before?
For me, remixing recovery means…
Learning new ways of relating and communicating…
Remixing means being vulnerable enough to let others in so I’m not alone, and so I can also support others…
Remixing means accepting who I am – struggles and all – and redesigning the life I want to live from here onward…
Remixing means giving myself grace through the process of recovery and recognizing I won’t do it perfectly…
Remixing means rediscovering my authentic self…who I am at my core and who I truly want to be in this world, without stigma or judgment…
Finally, remixing recovery means embracing a brave life – meaning leaning into discomfort instead of away and being open to learning a new way to live.
Applying this in my personal recovery might look like removing my mask in groups and not trying to be the perfect facilitator, but just being me, a peer in recovery. A peer whose OCD is SO undermining and makes it difficult to lean into uncertainty. A peer whose Depression can feel crushing and dark. A peer whose cPTSD has rewired their brain to look for threats everywhere due to past trauma. But also a peer that loves to advocate, have fun, laugh, play video games, cuddle her dog, live life with her fiancé, friends, and family. I am multifaceted. I am complex. And being authentic means embracing that, being brave means living it out loud.
I hope this helps paint a picture of what it means to live life remixed. Everyone’s remixed life will look different, but we don’t have to go on that journey alone….and that’s where the Remix Recovery support groups come in! More on that next time though 🙂
Remember…
Be Brave.
Be Authentic.
Live Life Remixed!
Your peer,
Jenny 💚